"We don't hate people": The first Step to Understanding your Introverted Friends.

I Like People, Just not every person I meet and definately not all the time. Introverts are not anti-people, as some people imply. Can you say because I don’t eat beans every day, that means I’m anti–beans.

I could make a case that introverts are more genuinely people-oriented than extroverts because we’re always on the lookout for connections and conversations, whereas extroverts are content with noise and chatter. The thing is society feels the number of people you talk to or know is proportional to the level of intimacy you’re able to achieve with each member and we all know that's not how it really works.. . “More than two or three people and everyone just seems to be talking over themselves to get themselves heard.”

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Either way, introverts do like people but in controlled doses and small numbers. We like spending one-on-one time with good friends. I need that as much as I need solitude. Introverts don’t get lonely if they don’t socialize with a lot of people, but we do get lonely if we don’t have intimate interactions on a regular basis. (And I don’t mean sex, though that’s good, too.😏) Nonetheless, finding some individuals dull or even just unnecessary to my life is not the same thing as disliking everyone. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with finding our own thoughts more interesting than a long story about someone’s bestfriend's sister's new phone.

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Introverts also don’t want to socialize every day. Every social interaction drains a little bit of energy, and after a few consecutive days of socializing, we need to shut down. After days of interacting, my brain feels stuffed with other people’s words.

Our limited ability to socialize causes us to be selective about whom we see when, and how. We are reluctant to waste precious social energy on unnecessary encounters. Admittedly, we can be unfriendly—if you consider declining to engage with people unfriendly. But this is not from hostility toward others as much as it is a form of self-protection and self-regulation. There’s nothing wrong with declining to join every party, deciding not to talk to everyone who crosses your path, choosing quality over quantity in your relationships. It just means that you know your limits and choose to save yourself for people and activities that matter. Other people might think that means you don’t like people, but what it really means is that you only make time for people you like. Apart from Introverts, I feel as a person you can't like everyone the same way everybody can't like you... So I don't understand why society pins this stereotype to Introverts.